Though My Heart Quakes

by Jocelyn on February 23, 2012

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
Be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:12-14

I cried myself to sleep last night. My husband has been told to pack, to prepare to return to war.

And yet, I know God is just as much Lord today as He’s been on all my hope-filled days. He is still Lord on this painful, confusing, fearful day. His character, His promises to me, His love for me remain unchanged. Only my circumstances have changed. I keep reminding myself that my joy, my strength, and my hope do not depend on the happenings of my life. My joy, my strength and my hope are all found in my Lord Jesus, regardless of what is unfolding around me or what lies ahead for me.

Habakkuk, too, experienced fear. When the Lord told Habakkuk that his land would be invaded by a ruthless people, Habakkuk “heard and my inward parts trembled, at the sound my lips quivered. Decay enters my bones, and in my place I tremble” (Habakkuk 3:16). Yet he goes on to utter one of the most beautiful proclamations of faith in the Bible in verses 17-19:

Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet will I exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And makes me walk on my high places.

Habakkuk did three things that we can learn from: he told his honest doubts to God, he resolved to wait on God, and he chose to trust God in the dark.

I don’t know what your Thoughs are today, but here are mine: Though my husband is returning to war and my heart quakes; Though I will be a single parent yet again; Though life continues to throw me curve balls; Yet I will trust the Lord God.


When I am afraid, do I still trust in the Lord as the blessed and only Sovereign (1 Timothy 6:15)?


Thank you that You are totally in control of the decisions the nations’ leaders are making presently. I choose not to lean on my own understanding. Bind the ugly spirit of fear from me, from my husband, from our children, from our family and friends. Draw us closer to you through all of this, to hear You, to see You, to serve You better than ever before. And, Lord, when it’s all over, may we never revert to the place from which You moved us, grew us and strengthened us. Help us, at this difficult intersection, to choose to stay on the road You’ve marked out for us in Your perfect wisdom and love. Use me, Lord, as You see best. Don’t allow me to be overcome by fear or paralyzed by hopelessness or anger. Empty me of me and fill me with You. Not mine, but Your will be done.

For more excerpts from Faith Deployed, click here.

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