Many of you know I’m working with Dr. Gary Chapman to create a military edition of his New York Times bestseller, The 5 Love Languages. One of the things I’m working on this week is to add some military-specific questions to his FAQ in the back of the book. Do you want to help? If so, leave a comment telling me what you would ask Dr. Chapman if you could.
No need to ask things like “How do I express love during deployment if my spouse’s language is quality time (or physical touch, etc)?” We are already answering those questions in the body of the book.
But what else, relating to the love languages and military marriage, would you like to ask?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
How does a spouse deal with the fact that she wants her spouse to retire and he doesn’t want to?
How does a spouse deal with PTSD with the service member? with the children?
What are practical ways to deal with bitterness, anger and loneliness from multiple moves and deployments?
Do you have suggestions on how the spouse at home can encourage themselves during those time periods where communication either isn’t possible or rare?
Are there tips for expressing the love languages when the deployed spouse has little personal time throughout deployment so they can do their best to express love with little time? Like when they already give up sleep to get the job done and email when they have access to a computer.
Are there tips for expressing the love languages to children while the spouse is deployed?
How can you make the time your spouse is home enjoyable, when you know deployment is right around the corner?
How do you support your husband when his job has kept you apart for SEVERAL years?
Many study’s say reintegration takes about 30 days or more after a deployment. My spouse is on the flight crew so we are given 28 days off flying status after a 120 day deployment then they are put back on the mission schedule. Flying 5-12 days, home 7- 10 rotating this flying schedule for the next 8 – 12 months till they deploy again. My love language is gifts, and its not a area my husband excels in. (not talking big, expensive things. Just thought out, meaningful tokens of love.) After 6 years of this schedule I am burnt out, and its hard to “desire” to fulfill my husband love language, when hes not trying to fulfill mine. I want to desire to do that again~ I fell many wives are exhausted by, training, combat missions, flying schedules… I love my husband dearly. Kids, housework, life, & his absence are just draining. So Bottom line~ “How do we regain the passion in fulfilling the love language of our husbands?”
1) How do you find ways to communicate when you have both changed from long deployments and don’t know each other again?
2) How do you reintegrate as a couple when you are used to waiting around for phone calls/emails but now you have the ability to control the conversation and initiate things when your spouse is still used to initiating all the communication?
I hope that makes sense, its hard to describe in words. Thanks so much
I love the 5 Love Languages (read both the original and men’s edition) and have also read the five languages of apology and the 4 seasons of marriage. I would REALLY love to read a Military verison of the 5 Love Languages that specifically addresses (re)learning the 5 Love Languages for military couples adjusting to the “new normal” , life after combat with PTSD and TBI.